Two Steps Forward Three Steps Back

Sadly I must report that Jenny is back at MSK in NYC.  She went to MSK Basking Ridge on Thursday to get a shot to help increase her white blood cell count.  All seemed to go well.  She woke up on Friday early morning not feeling well at all.  To use her words that she texted me “… I feel like CRAP …” She called MSK and they told her to come in to the Urgent Care unit.

As it turns out, Jenny picked up an infection somewhere along the line and her white blood cell count was virtually nonexistent.  So now she is back there…  Not sure for how many days.  I was out at work in York PA when this all happened.  I give kudos to Alan for handling things in a very calm fashion.

This frustrates me on multiple fronts:

-        When Jenny got her chemo on Tuesday they knew her blood counts were low.  Why the, hell did they not give her a blood transfusion?

-        Am I wrong to go into work in York PA?  I can do some things from home but not all of it.  When things like this happen I question whether I am making the right choices.

-        This not fair to Alan.  He has accepted a lot of responsibility at a time where he has his own life choices to make.

-        Why does jenny have to be so stubborn?  She is looking for reasons why this happened…  It’s the dog, the cat; the house is not clean enough.  Of course it could not be that she is outside raking and tires out and sits on the ground, where the dog, cat, duck, fox, squirrels, mice, ants and anything else might have been…  Or dropping in at school which everyone knows is a cauldron of germs activity that is always present in grammar schools.  She needs to take it easy. Period.

I am very despondent at this time and I am just trying to stay calm, cool and positive.  I thank you all for your support.  Please say a prayer for my wife.